Can my wife legally insist our adult son stay at home? Wife and I have joint mortgage and I like him to leave?
Home Mortgage
S B asked:
He is 27 and does not contribute in any way to the upkeep of the house, financially or otherwise. My wife is too soft to insist on elementary things like he clean up his plates and she is unlikely to agree to ask him to leave. I thought if I had the right to ask him to leave unilaterally, it might act as a pseudo threat to establish ground rues.
Jason
He is 27 and does not contribute in any way to the upkeep of the house, financially or otherwise. My wife is too soft to insist on elementary things like he clean up his plates and she is unlikely to agree to ask him to leave. I thought if I had the right to ask him to leave unilaterally, it might act as a pseudo threat to establish ground rues.
Jason
July 23rd, 2009 at 12:55 am
Deborah
Ah yeah, at this stage, this is not good for his future prospects. 27 and still at home? Not a good sign. The fact that he even still wants to be at home at that age shows that he isn’t seeking a future of his own. Get him out of there.
July 24th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Jerry
Yes, you may ask him to leave.
However, a kinder way to do this is to help him find a house or flat of his own and help him move/settle in. It sounds like you and your wife have not forced him to take up responsibility in the past and he is now to scared to go out into the world and fend for himself.
July 25th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Tina
I am not sure what the legal part in your question has to say. Legally I guess you could ask him to leave, since he is not your responsibility anymore in providing shelter and food (I am assuming that from what you write - because if he is studying, the legal aspect might be different)
However, morally, do you want to do that?
His mother will most likely not throw him out on the road - hardly any mother would do that - and not their son to begin with.
If you want him to learn responsibility and being able to be self-sufficient - it is a little late for that.
The only thing you could do is - with your wife set the rules of the house and everyone follows them: Clean up his plates, Contribute either/both ways.
A good approach with your wife might be, to explain to her, that with that you both would be helping your son in getting independent.
Good luck to you
July 26th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Susan
i would suggest you give him a good kicking, when he is in the yard tell him why you did it, honestly, it will work.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:46 am
Susan
You are not doing your son a favor by letting your son live off you and your wife. He must learn to be independent and be responsible for himself. His maturity has been stunted by you and your wife’s behavior toward him. I assume he has a job, which shows he is responsible to his supervisor/employer.
Help him find an apartment or other place to live, and if he needs financial help, offer it to him as a LOAN, and make sure he pays it back in a timely fashion.
I know it is hard for anyone to ask their “child” to move, but it is for your son’s sake, not yours (give him a chance to grow up, get married and have a family of his own). He should understand this if explained to him properly.
Good luck.